it's interesting how lust & infatuation blind us & fail to let us see the details of a person that make or break the intimate connection.
I met a guy through an online dating site who is absolutely beautiful. We met, talked & hit it off - or so I thought. I enjoyed his company, waited for his phone calls & text messages - looked forward to anything that had to do with him. During our second to last encounter I apparently said something that didn't sit well with him, which turned out to be a misinterpretation on his behalf. After making love, something we truly enjoyed with each other, he woke in the middle of the night & left. No goodbye. I heard nothing more from him.
I reached out but calls & text messages went unanswered & he deleted & blocked me from facebook. Who acts that way? A man who is not man but a boy. One who is unable to face his emotions & speak to a woman with truth, honesty & integrity. A coward.
None of that mattered to me because a few weeks later I reached out to him, twice - both to go unanswered.
Until this week. Out of the blue I received a text message from him. I was happy to hear from him but my heart no longer fluttered as it did before. Even so, I was still curious to see him. That's exactly what I did.
His face is still handsome, no longer beautiful as i once thought.
As he sat across from me I began to notice the small details that I once overlooked. He is unable to look into my eyes when he speaks to me. His words no longer impress me but actually turn sour as he speaks them. His smile is no longer enchanting but riddled with imperfections. He has a cruel sense of humor and is ridiculously selfish, self absorbed & angry. All this and we only spoke for a few minutes.
What was happening within me before that I failed to see all these things?
Needless to say, I will not be seeing him again. He is not the man I once thought. He is not the man I want to share myself with.
